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Wedding Invitations Etiquette |
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Cultural backgrounds and individual convictions heavily influence the decision making in Wedding Etiquette. Nevertheless, the following is a general guide that should be constructed as such…..and adopted as you deem fit:
WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
Working out a budget for your wedding is one of the first things that should be done, once the date has been set. Unlike a decade ago, the lines are no longer rigidly drawn. Many couples share the expenses between themselves and only asking the parents to “chip – in” these days. But the general guideline of the traditional breakdown follows:
| Wedding gown/ headpiece/accessories |
Bride’s Family |
| Wedding ring for Bride |
Groom |
| Wedding ring for Groom |
Bride |
| Wedding gift for Groom |
Bride |
| Wedding gift for Bride |
Groom |
| Bridesmaid gifts, the Bride Groomsmen/Usher gifts |
Groom |
| Bride’s Bouquet |
Groom |
| Bridesmaid Bouquets |
Bride’s Family |
| Mother’s Corsages |
Groom |
| Grandmother Corsages |
Bride’s Family |
| Groom’ s Boutonniere |
Groom |
| Groomsmen Boutonnieres |
Groom |
| Usher’s Boutonnieres |
Groom |
| Ceremony/Reception Flowers |
Bride’s Family |
| Alter Baskets/Arches |
Bride’s Family |
| Canopy/ Carpet |
Bride’s Family |
| Kneeling Bench/ Candelabras |
Bride’s Family |
| Rented items for wedding |
Bride’s Family |
| Rented items for reception |
Bride’s Family |
| Invitations/Announcements |
Bride’s Family |
| Wedding programs |
Bride’s Family |
| Napkins/Matches/Printed items |
Bride’s Family |
| Marriage License |
Groom |
| Medical Visit for Bride |
Bride |
| Medical visit for Groom |
Groom |
| Church fee |
Bride’s family |
| Clergyman |
Groom |
| Musician |
Bride’s family |
| Church Janitor |
Bride’s Family |
| Reception hall fee |
Bride’s Family |
| Catered reception |
Bride’s Family |
| Wedding photography/Videographer/Orchestra/Band/DJ |
Bride’s Family |
| Groom’s Cake |
Groom’s Family |
| Rice Bags |
Bride’s Family |
| Rehearsal Dinner |
Groom’s Family |
| Bridesmaid Luncheon |
Bride |
| Bachelor Party |
Best Man/Groom’s Attendants |
| Wedding Breakfast |
Bride’s Family |
| Bridal Brunch |
Bride’s Family |
| Bridesmaid’s Gowns |
Bridesmaid |
| Maid of Honor Gown |
Maid of honor |
| Matron of honor Gown |
Matron of honor |
| Best man Formal wear |
Best Man |
| Usher’s Formal wear |
Ushers |
| Groomsmen’s Formal wear |
Groomsmen |
| Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants |
Groom |
| Father of Bride Formal wear |
Bride’s Family |
| Father of Groom formal wear |
Groom’s Family |
| Children’s Formal wear |
Children’s Parents |
| Limousine Service |
Groom |
| Honeymoon arrangements |
Groom |
| Travel Expenses to the Wedding of Family member |
Out – of –town Attendant |
| Accommodations for out of town Guests |
Bride or out-of-town guests |
WHOM DO YOU ASK TO BE INVOLVED?
Today couples are more inclined to base their decisions on close friendships. But what’s most relevant is that the people you choose are important to both of you. Remember that your attendants will be helping you out by participating and they need to be asked accordingly. Instead of saying, “I’ve decided that you’ll be a bridesmaid,” you might want to say, “would you like to be a bridesmaid in my wedding? Your presence would mean a lot to me.”
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT?
ATTENDANT RESPONSIBILITIES
MAID OF HONOR
The bride relies most heavily on her honor attendant. Before the wedding, the maid of honor’s duties include coordinating the bridesmaids’’ activities – meeting for a dress fitting and organizing the bridal shower. On the wedding day she helps the bride dress and accompanies her to the ceremony. She signs the marriage license as the bride’s witness, and holds the brides bouquet at the altar. At the reception she dances with the best man and organizes the bridesmaids for formal pictures. Before the couple leaves for their honeymoon, she helps the bride change and makes certain her dress and bouquet are preserved afterwards.
BRIDESMAIDS
Assist the maid of honor with her wedding planning duties – especially the bridal shower and to help the bride as needed. During the reception, they mostly mingle, dance with the groomsmen and other important guests and encourage single girls to participate in the bouquet toss.
FLOWER GIRL
During the processional she walks ahead of the bride scattering flower petals along the way or simply carrying a pretty bouquet. Her parents are expected to pay for her attire and arrange for transportation.
BEST MAN
He is the groom’s biggest source of support. He has to organize the bachelor party. He helps coordinate the groomsmen’s formal wear fitting, picks up the groom’s attire before the wedding, orchestrates the toasts at the rehearsal party, and confirms the honeymoon travel reservations the day before. On wedding day he brings the rings, holds the officiate’s fee until after the ceremony, and signs the marriage license as the groom’s witness.
GROOMSMEN
They plan and host the bachelor party with the best man. If the bride’s mother or the groom’s parents won’t be in the processional, groomsmen should seat them just before the ceremony begins.
HOW SHOULD EVERYONE DRESS?
Fashions change rapidly, giving way to new and fresh ideas. Individual taste always plays an important part of the bridal attire. Since white is considered to be a sign of joy, it I perfectly appropriate for second – time brides and those with children to wear it. But the tradition still stands that these brides not wear veils, gowns with trains or carry orange blossoms.
THE WEDDING DANCE
Traditionally the bride and groom will be the first to dance as their special song is played softly with the lights dimmed low create a romantic atmosphere. As the music continues the father of the bride will cut in on the groom and dance with his daughter. The groom asks the bride’s mother to join him and together they grace the dance floor. The groom’s father then cuts in on the bride’s father and dances with the bride himself. The bride’s father will then cut in on the groom and dance with his wife. The groom will then ask his mother to dance. The best man comes out to ask the bride to dance and the groom will dance with the maid with the maid or matron of honor. Finally, the entire wedding party, groomsmen and bridesmaids join in the festivities. Once the entire bridal party and their parents are on the dance fllor, the other guests are invited to dance.
WHAT JEWELLERY IS APPROPRIATE ON THE WEDDING DAY?
Jewellery is picked according to a theme. Remember it is not proper for the bride to wear a watch on her wedding day – this is the one day that should be timeless, so let someone else keep track of the time that day.
CALLING THE WEDDING OFF OR POSTPONING
Whether a postponement or calling a wedding off the gests should be notified as soon as possible as some guests might have to cancel flights, etc..
MOTHER OF BRIDE RESPONSIBLITIES
- Help the bride select her wedding attire.
- Help the bride and groom decide on a wedding budget.
- In the event that the mother of the groom does not contact you, you will make the first contact.
- See that the guest lists are put together. The invitations must be ordered as soon as possible and the guest list will be critical in making your invitation order.
- Reservations for out – of – town guests, invited by the bride’s family are the responsibility of the mother of the bride.
- Choose your gown for the wedding day. Immediately tell the mother of the groom the colors and style so that she may begin looking for a complimentary gown.
- See that instructions for the actual ceremony are given.
- Have to light the family candle in the ceremony.
MOTHER OF GROOM RESPONSIBILITIES
- Initiate contact between the families.
- Importance of providing an accurate and timely guest list.
- Reservations for out – of –town guests, invited by the groom’s family , are the responsibility of the mother of the groom.
- It is the responsibility of the groom’s parents to host the rehearsal dinner.
- As the ceremony begins the groom’s mother will be escorted down the aisle to the first pew, right hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle.
- Has to light the family candle at the altar.
- The first official duty of the mother of the groom, during the reception is to stand in the receiving line greeting guests and introducing her friends and family to the bride and her family.
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