Marriage and multiples

Maintaining a marriage is a responsibility of both the wife and husband. Living together may be a challenge for couples, with new situations, new environments, and new responsibilities. These challenges tend to increase when you become parents, as it is not easy to adjust immediately to the situation. Especially when you become the proud parents of two or more at the same time, the adjustments are even tougher. While you may not even be having enough energy to care for the infants, older siblings (if any) and maintaining the cleanliness of the house, it’s common that you may very rarely be left with energy to maintain the marriage. 

Are you aware that statistics show that parents of multiples have a higher stress level and tend to argue more often leading to a higher divorce rate? It is also seen that these children are more likely to suffer some form of child abuse than other children who don’t come from homes with multiples. 

There are many reasons why the marriage struggles during the years of bringing up multiple children. One such reason is when you start feeling overwhelmed with stress when little little things start adding up. Sleep deprivation, fatigue, the need for personal time and depression can all be too overwhelming to handle, especially when you get no co-operation from your spouse. It can be overcome by talking openly with your spouse and sharing responsibilities. Understanding each other is important to help maintain your marriage especially during tough times. 

Caring for your child is another area where fathers can and should get involved. Talk with your spouse about getting more involved, and even if he is not born with the skills of parenting, let him make an effort to learn through experience. Be specific in areas you would like his help. Make him feel he is capable as well as you in caring for your babies. Make your spouse feel that he is important and needed, make him realize that you believe in him as a father. By doing that he will feel proud and self confident in assisting at home. Remember not to push him, give him the chance and time to learn, and the freedom to do things his own way, even if that means he will do some mistakes.  Make him realize that it’s not only about helping out at home, but rather more, it is a strong contribution to maintaining a good married life. 

It is vital for you as parents of multiples to have an outlet to let out and share your frustrations, to keep your sanity and maintain a great relationship with the children as well as each-other. When you handle situations wisely, you can save your marriage and family.