Maintaining a balanced relationship with your multiples

As a parent, no one has to tell you to treat your children equally. But small actions like even the choice of dresses might register in the young ones minds as otherwise; that you are not being fair and treating one with more love than the other. When dealing with twins or other multiple children, one has to be more careful in maintaining a balanced relationship between them. This is one reason many parents unknowingly do when dressing them identical. Besides the fact they look cute, and the whole wide world recognizing them as twins, its one way in which you treat them fair.
 
As toddlers and children, your little children will look for a balance in many small things you may not even imagine. For example if you spend reading with one, you would be compelled to sit and read with the other again. When purchasing gifts, especially during birthdays and festive seasons, you would be careful to give the same number of gifts to your multiples as they may not be as much interested in opening them as much as comparing the numbers first.
 
But is this what is important in maintaining a balanced relationship with the multiples? Are we preparing them in the correct manner for the future? What about when they attend interviews, would you be there to select both of them? Have we prepared them to take let downs without deep feelings of hurt, rejection and self loathing? Isn’t it the same when they are on the hunt for their soul mates? What if one finds his or her partner before the other? Would they be able to handle it without feeling depressed or sometimes even anger?
 
It may be a hard truth, but our attention and even funds should be given to the multiples based on their needs, rather than equality. Don’t treat your multiples in relation to one another, rather treat them as individuals. It is then you would prepare your children for the future, teach them that sometimes life may not seem fair, but usually all works out well in the end.
 
Begin by offering condolences and counseling to the multiple feeling let down or overlooked while his other siblings have been blessed. Though they may find it hard to accept at first, it will help them to understand and cope with life, especially in the future. It is in the parents hand to help them acknowledge the facts of life.