Helping siblings cope with disabled brother or sister

Do you remember how your friends and family struggled when they or even you yourself struggled to accept the fact of a disabled child while at the same time, you had to love and care for him/her even before you had the time to let the truth strike and adjust to cope with the situation.

Try putting yourself in your disabled baby’s siblings’ shoes. If you as a parent found it hard to cope initially with the baby’s disabilities, how much more stress would your children be under. They, who have not much experience of the world, could use  little assistance to deal with the fact that their sibling is disabled and with assistance towards coping with the feelings that arise within them because of this fact.

Pay attention to your kids. Do you notice a difference in their activities? Did you consider the fact that they may be facing issues and even struggling within themselves and even in schools and communities? Do you feel your children are going through emotions like anger, jealousy, resentment, guilt and embarrassment? These are natural feelings a child may feel and will require your help to cope with. After identifying their feelings strive to understand the reasons behind them; is it because they feel you as parents give more time and attention to your disabled child? Is it because they cannot go out as before with extra demands at home after their siblings birth? Or is it because they feel angry that their sibling can get away with doing wrong things or doesn’t need to do chores?

Once you observe and identify the issue, helping your children would not be much of a big challenge for you as a good parent. If your children feel that you don’t give enough time to them like before, set aside a certain time to be with them only. Arrange a care giver to look after your disabled child on important days in which your children would like you to be a part of, e.g. sports day.

If they have issues with mingling with their friends, help them work out how they can explain their siblings’ difficulties to their friends if necessary. Till they get comfortable, arrange for them to bring their friends over when the disabled sibling has gone outdoors.

Encourage your children to see their sibling as a unique person with similarities and differences. To empathize and not sympathizes. These are basic situations you would have to face and solve besides other stressful times, restrictions, guilt, anger, teasing, embarrassment, protectiveness and concerns are just few of the feelings your children would need your assistance to cope with.

Being aware and helping your other children to cope with their disabled sibling, should be done as soon as matters arise to avoid problems at a later date.