How to Share the Care of Your Newborn with Your Spouse

We never know what kind of parents we will be, until we become one. There are mothers who want to involve the dad equally in caring for the newborn. Others strongly believe that it’s primarily the mom’s job. Some fathers too have strong ideas about their involvement. If you are reading this article, chances are you belong to the group that advocates ‘dad help’.

One of the first things to remember is that dads tend to be left out of some things when it comes to the baby. The mother carries the child, gives birth and then has to breast-feed. Right after birth, some fathers tend to feel alienated or inadequate. Try your best to avoid this- constantly communicate with him about the latest developments and get him actively involved in the baby caring process, from day one. Changing nappies and cleaning up a mess are easy for dads, once they get used to it.

Support your spouse anyway you can. Show that you appreciate his efforts, even though he may be awkward at first. Dads usually take it for granted that ‘mums know best’. Remind your spouse that you too are new at this job and are not sure of yourself always. This will take some pressure off. Some dads are reluctant to hold newborns, because they seem very delicate. But, by doing just that, they can relieve mums and allow them much needed rest.

Allow your baby to be held as much as possible by your spouse, even as your parents, his parents and other doting family members compete for the honor. A father’s touch is important to the baby for all-rounded development.

Breastfeeding time can become lonely for a dad. He may feel that he is not needed and that mother and baby are doing just fine without him. On the contrary, a father can make a lot of difference here. Studies show that women with supporting spouses considered breastfeeding to be a very pleasant and soothing experience. With that support, even women who are not very comfortable in this phase, carry on nourishing their kids without problems.

Here’s how dad can help during breastfeeding:

1. If at home, make the mother comfortable. Prop some pillows behind her back for support, make sure her legs are firmly on the floor and see that both baby and mum are not disturbed by loud noises or sudden interruptions.

2. By sitting together with the mum as she breastfeeds, a dad offers more than company. Nursing mothers love the attention.

3. Some mums like to eat or drink warm milk as she breastfeeds. Your spouse can bring you some food or drink or even a book to read.

4. Some dads act like human shields when their wives breastfeed in public. Even the women who have no qualms about sharing this private moment with others feel more comfortable this way.