So you are getting ready to welcome a second child into the family. You feel more adept the second time around but don’t imagine this time to be just like the last one. Your responsibilities will double, especially if your first child is still a toddler. You need to prepare for the second child, just as you did for the first one, although the considerations may be a bit different.
Recycling knowledge
You may think you needn’t go to childbirth education classes like the first time because you have done it all before. But you can register for a couple of sessions just to refresh your memory and get back into the birthing mentality. Also, some classes may be held especially for second time mums, offering good information. If you’ve made any notes before, go through them again at leisure.
How will it affect you and your partner?
Your partner has to play an active role in sharing responsibilities again, maybe even more than ever. Having two kids is sometimes more than double the effort.
Working mums will sometimes despair, trying to achieve a balance between work and family life. You will tire easily and have less time for your own health.
There are parents who have four to five children and still manage to function smoothly (except for the few unavoidable hiccups!). It’s all in your attitude. Don’t think you have to be the higher power to make everything perfect. The fact is, you can’t. If the house is messy, it doesn’t mean you are a failure.
Things like changing nappies, handling unexpected outcomes and feeding and washing your newborn will be second nature. You’ll find yourself instinctively calling a rash a rash and not panicking that it’s an infection. Your baby’s crying will not seem like a crisis. So perhaps the most positive aspect of having your second child will be that you are more mature and confident.
How will it affect your first child?
Any new addition will obviously change the dynamics of your family. Apart from the usual newborn considerations, parents will have to think how a new baby will affect their first child.
If your first is very young, too young to really notice its baby brother or sister, you are lucky. They will probably get along as playmates as they grow up. But if you are having a five or six year old, who has been quite spoilt all this time by love and attention, it can create problems.
You won’t be able to afford as much time for your first kid when the second one comes along. His/her meals and education may take a backseat. You’ll be too tired and too busy to play. Everyone, including your parents and friends, will be engrossed in the baby and ‘ooh’ing and ’aah’ing its every move. If this isn’t enough to create a bit of jealousy, again, luck is on your side. But many first kids succumb to this feeling of being taken for granted. And it may be so intense, enough to affect adult behavior. Don’t leave your first child alone when you breastfeed or care for the newborn; involve him/her in the process, to avoid estrangement. Make your first feel as special as the new arrival, if not more.
