1. Guinness

Nice thick, creamy and giving satisfaction as much as a Irish milkshake with booze, containing higher cals than a roasted pig, and you could draw on its top. Apparently survival isn't really a problem on a diet of only Guinness, oranges and pork scratching. I'd just love to try it out!

2. San Miguel

Really smooth, clean and pure like bottled water, this is the very best of beers. The Spanish crowd call this beer cerveza, which is a cool name. Make sure you drink it really cold (literally, like as if it's frozen!)

3. Rioja

Those Spaniards just have no idea how to make some lager & paella, they only know how to grow grapes and step on them to make some absolutely beautiful fruity, oaky reds too. I really love the Campo Veijo vineyard. However any Rioja will be fine at a push.

4. Newcastle Brown Ale

This one's given the odd nickname 'dog' by the natives of Goerdieland. Drink this one from a half - full half - pint glass, refreshing the glass when it's about to finish. Drink it cold.

5. Aussie Shiraz

Regardless of whether it's the normal Shiraz or mixed with some Cabernet, you'll always get a really good 'un with the Aussies' version! The South-Eastern vineyards seem to be exceptionally great. Have Aussie Shiraz with some cheese. Really yummy.

6. Gale's HSB

Standing for 'Heavy Special Bitter', this looks like liquid chocolate and gives out a taste similar to malted socks. It has a 6% level of alcohol according to volume, or something about that amount. Don't ever have more than 2 glasses!

7. Sharp's Doombar

Cornish Real Ale is also really good, and will start sticking onto your teeth after about 3 pints. It's much stronger than it actually tastes. You'll have a really bad headache the next morning, however!

8. John Smiths Smooth

This one's just too cold, too bland, too commercial and too easy an option when you are confronted by a whole load of beers with scary names like 'Headhunter'. But, you could drink a decent number of gallons without feeling too bad if you have control over what you're doing. However, I wouldn't try it out.

9. Port

The old man's snifter. A really popular tipple among decadent alkies and the former army veterans. It's basically only red wine fortified with some brand. Knock in another brand and, Voila, you have a solution to the common cold!

10. Absinthe

This tastes like something between meths and mouthwash and can sure make you do some weird stuff. It needs to be drunk with some sugar and water, and some fire for effect. Absinthe can turn you mad. A real favourite of the 19th century French poets. I tried it out twice, but the whole experience ended up quite messy!