How do we forgive the big stuff? The huge stuff. The tragedies. How do we forgive our abuser? What if we're that abuser? Can we forgive ourselves? How do we forgive a parent who abandoned us? Or abandoned our child? What if we are the abandoner? How do we make it through one day after our child has been killed by a drunk driver? What if we are that drunk driver? How do we forgive an entire hate mongering group that terrorizes ruthlessly? How do we say I'm sorry to the kid from our childhood we mercilessly teased on the playground because the other kids were teasing him? How do we get past feeling wounded if we were that kid? How do we make amends for a mistake we made that we never told anyone about? Is forgiveness possible? How do we face these ghosts that haunt our minds, making us afraid to trust, afraid to love or afraid to live? How can we? Why should we? Forgiveness is not a religious or spiritual practice. It’s a need that accompanies the human, sentient condition. Even the animal kingdom recognizes a form of forgiveness. In a duck pond, when a duck ruffles the feathers of another duck there’s wing flapping, squawking, and splashing; then, each duck swims off in separate directions, shakes its entire body to release the energy, and then the waters and feathers are calm once more. Granted, the trials of a duck aren’t as weighty as those of humans. Human trauma is not proof that God was negligent, but that we (humanity) were. Forgiveness doesn’t let anyone off the hook but us. Forgiveness frees us from the chains of bondage to pain. A minister suggested during a class that as humans we are, in fact, incapable of forgiving. Forgiveness doesn't happen on a human level. Forgiveness occurs in the realm of the divine. It is the joining of our heart to the Christ (the highest state of our humanity) in a real transformation of our heart. It is the opening of our heart. Forgiveness: the weight loss program of truth seekers For everything in us that we let be healed we are that much lighter. Hence, enlightenment. The truth will set us free, but first it's going to annoy us. The process of forgiveness is like a maze; sometimes you aren’t sure whether or not you’re lost or on the right path. Stay with it; trust the process. Until you are out; until you’re free. Lighter. In forgiving, we surrender the darkness in our heart to the light, and we are lifted out of the valley of the shadow of death and delivered to the kingdom of heaven. This is not something we do. This is something we let happen within us. It is the Christ in us – the pinnacle of our beingness - that does this work. We give up our anger, hatred, bitterness, agony, or despair to a bigger heart that heals it for us. We give it up. For ourselves we give it up. So that we may be at peace. So that we may move on. So that we may be free. “He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” George Herbert Yes, there are hurts so deep that to release them seems to somehow diminish their importance. That to let go is almost as much of an injustice as the original error. The only way to learn forgiveness is by practicing forgiveness. Forgiveness exercise This exercise requires only that you speak the words. The emotional release will come with practice. First, connect with whatever is divine, holy or sacred to you. It might be nature, God, a person, or an object of some kind. The power that governs the orbit of the planets, gets the sun up each day, and causes winter to follow autumn is the power you’re connecting with…it really doesn’t care what you call it. Next, repeat aloud these steps with each person, incident or experience that needs releasing. Writing these steps out is also effective. 1. I ask the Christ in me (or, I ask the highest power in life) to forgive ( ) for ( ). 2. I ask the Christ in me (or, I ask the highest power available) to forgive any harm this may have caused my body. 3. I give (the other person, situation or self) complete permission to forgive me. A Course in Miracles says, “You who want peace can find it only by complete forgiveness.”
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