As we grow up in this society we are programmed to do something, either directly by our parents or it subtly comes to us in one way or another by society. What we are programmed to do is acquire things, whether they are material like houses, cars or other goods or other things that are deemed to have value like a job, qualifications or a relationship. We also learn that we have to hold on to these things because without them we are worthless. Basically we are told that our value is based on what we have, it is based on external attributes. These also include more subtle things like having the approval of others being a member of a club or fitting into a particular pier group. This last category of things that we try to acquire is the most dangerous and actually points towards why we think we have to have all the other things such as material possessions and other things that we may often regard as types of possessions. So let us take the example the approval of others, club membership and fitting into a pier group to understand what the real problem of wanting to acquire things is. The truth is that if we measure ourselves by the approval of others, club membership or fitting into a pier group, then it goes without saying that if we don’t have the approval of others, if we are not in that club or we are rejected by our pier group, then we feel like we are nothing. Believe it or not it is this wanting to have approval, wanting to be accepted by the group, that has influenced us in wanting to acquire the other things. Stop for a moment and consider how much money you actually require to live, how big the house has to be for you to live in, how good a job you need in order to earn enough money and how important is it to have that doting significant other. But the big house, the powerful job, the trophy spouse, the millions in the bank and the fast cars all mean status in the eyes of the other. When you take the idea of status away, the need for approval, the need to fit in, the fear of rejection away, you begin to see the true value of things and you begin to see that maybe you don’t need any of these external attributes to make you happy or to help you be at peace with yourself All you need is just to be, be yourself, live in the moment and do the best you can without ever getting stressed about it. But guess what? Before you can start to feel happy and peaceful just being yourself and being in the moment, you have to let go. You have to let go of the need to have the big house, the perfect spouse, the good job, the fast car, as well as the membership of the country club and the need to fit in with the pier group. This does not mean you have to get rid of these things it just means you have to let go of the need you think you have to have these things. The perceived need to have these things in order to think “we have made it” however is strongly imprinted on us all and many of us had to actually reach the point where we were in danger of losing everything that we used to think was important to us before we saw the light. And what is that great enlightenment? “All we have to do is LET GO of need.”
Article Source: http://www.bizymoms.com/expert-advice
My name is Simon Meadowcroft, I am a writer in the field of personal development, my objective is to try to enlighten people in some way however small that will lead to them becoming more fulfilled in their lives. If you like what I have to say and want to hear more, please let me know at simonmaya@yahoo.com.