1. Why did you start the Breast Cancer Sisterhood? 

During the first appointment with my oncologist, he gave me a stack of pamphlets and a three-ring binder full of information. Most of it was from drug companies. None of it told me how to get through treatment, warned me about potentially life-threatening situations I might face during treatment, or answered questions I still have to this day. The information on the Internet is often unreliable and runs the gambit from home remedies to complicated medical journals most of us can't understand. In addition, there was no support for husbands and children.  

As a result, I wrote Husbands & Heroes to help husbands become better caregivers and to understand how much their wives and children need them, along with The Breast Cancer Sisterhood for newly diagnosed patients. No subject is off limits in either book. I talk about everything from coping with your fears, sex-related issues during and after treatment, to why cutting your cuticles and flossing your teeth could endanger your health during chemo.

When I realized I couldn't put everything into a book, I decided to start the Survivorship Media Network and BreastCancerSisterhood.com. So far we have produced over 100 original videos for patients, survivors, husbands/caregivers, children and teens. To date, we have partnered with Whole Foods, Lancôme Cosmetics and legendary makeup artist Sandy Linter. Komen is about the cure.  The Breast Cancer Sisterhood is about Survivorship. There is nothing like it anywhere. I believe God placed me here to help breast cancer families, and I don't want to let Him down.

2. What determines a patient's breast cancer prognosis? 

The most important factors are whether your tumor has spread to the lymph nodes or other areas outside the breast; tumor size and type of breast cancer; the kind of treatment you receive, plus your age and general health when you are diagnosed. Many oncologists have a computer program that takes this data and compares it to the survival rates of other women with the exact same criteria. In my case, 83% of women that met my exact criteria will be alive and cancer-free 10 years from date of diagnosis.  Another 3% will get hit by a bus. I'll take those odds. Also, don't discount positive attitude, faith and what I call the Lance Armstrong factor: surviving and defying the odds beyond anyone's wildest expectations. It happens more than you think.

3. When the doctors confirmed that you had breast cancer, how did you deal with your diagnosis and believe you would be a survivor? 

Initially, you are paralyzed with fear. Months go by and there is not a single minute you don't wonder if you will be here this time next year. My husband, our son and the members of our church were all amazing. I have a strong faith in God, and when they told me they were praying for me, I felt it. My mother lifted me up with her faith, as well. At the same time I used custom hypnosis tapes to relax. That's not to say there weren't days when I was a basket case deluxe.  

Three months after my diagnosis, the full impact of what it meant to have breast cancer finally hit me. The thing that scared me the most was there was no guarantee my cancer would not come back. How could I go on with my life as if nothing had happened? How could I be carefree or plan for the future with a possible time bomb lurking in my body? My husband told me something that day that's stuck with me: for me to think I had been in control of my life in the first place had been an illusion. We cannot control a drunk driver in the other lane any more than we can control the weather, so who was I to think I had been "in control" of my life before breast cancer? True, I can "influence" an outcome, but I realized only God is in control. I still work at surrendering control to God, plus my innate desire to survive makes me persevere.

4. How long does it take to recover from treatment? 

The length of time depends on the type of treatment you receive as well as your determination to be proactive in your recovery: following doctor's orders, staying well-hydrated, eating nutritious food and exercising, even if you don't feel like it. The exercise part is like the chicken and the egg. You don't have any energy so you don't feel like exercising, and you don't exercise because you don't have any energy. Exercising becomes one of those things you must force yourself to do, regardless.

If you have a mastectomy, chemo and radiation, and there are no complications that put your treatment on hold, plan on a year from start to finish before your energy returns. One of the best things I learned is not to assume you will "go back to normal," whatever that is. Instead you must figure out what your "new normal" is, embrace it and thank God you are here to laugh about it.

5. What is "Chemo Brain?" 

Chemo brain is a condition affecting memory and critical thinking skills that may, or may not, occur as a result of chemotherapy and usually goes away or diminishes at some point after treatment. My oncologist gave me some good advice about chemo brain: do not make any major decisions until you are finished with treatment. Unfortunately because of chemo brain, I promptly forgot his words of wisdom and bought things the "real" me never would have bought in the first place. I would like to say my chemo brain days are behind me, but I cannot. While I am past the point of having to write everything down just to remember my life, I am not "back to normal." What part is chemo brain, and what is the natural aging process or reaction to the stress of the last few years? I cannot say.

6. Speaking from your own experience, what role does a husband play in helping his wife cope with breast cancer? 

A husband's unconditional support is crucial to the entire family's mental, emotional and physical ability to cope with her diagnosis, make it through treatment and resume their lives. Notice I said "their lives."  Many people don't think about this, but cancer is a disease that affects the entire family.  

A husband is the intangible support that boosts his wife's immune system, gives her hope and helps her make it from one day to the next. In some cases husbands may make the literal difference between life and death, and are an important role model for their children. They are the glue that holds their family together. Quite simply, husbands are angels without wings. My husband, James, is one of those angels. I don't know what I would have done without him.

7. What is breast cancer's dirty little secret? 

No one likes to talk about this, but about twenty-five percent of husbands leave their wives after they are diagnosed with breast cancer, leaving children often as young as six and seven-years-old to be their mother's primary caregiver. Statistics say many of those marriages were in trouble to begin with, although when roles are reversed, only three percent of women leave their husbands. Many men were not raised to be caregivers, or they want their wives and girlfriends to take care of them. In addition, they may be afraid of acknowledging their mortality and yours, plus they may be afraid of how breast cancer will affect their sex lives. I sometimes wonder what part of "till death do us part" do men not remember?