Fighting Breast Cancer : An Interview with Bizymoms Top Blogger 2010 Recipient Melissa Northern

1. Why did you start your blog “To Keep You, A Breast?” Has the original purpose changed now?

I started “To Keep You, A Breast” to keep my family and friends up to date while I battled breast cancer. I was lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people during my diagnosis and treatment, but repeating each doctor visit or test to each one of them was more than I had the stamina for. The blog started as a place for everyone in my support system to go to get the latest info, but morphed into a place where I could express all of the crazy emotions I was experiencing but was afraid to talk about. The anonymity of the Internet made it easier to feel the feelings and voice the fears. Since I finished treatment, the blog has become less cancer-focused, but it still serves as a way to stay connected with people.

2. The moment that you were told that you had breast cancer, what went through your mind?

The very moment I was told I had cancer, I was sitting in DC traffic on a Friday night. I thought I was going to die right there on the highway because I was paralyzed from the news. Once I got myself home, I still thought I was going to die and it was quite a while before any one was able to convince me differently. Everything I had read prior to my diagnosis told me that breast cancer in young women (I was 29 when I was diagnosed) was a much more aggressive disease. I was also immediately ready to have a plan. I wasn’t going down without a fight, and in my mind, there was no better time to start fighting than right then. The biggest frustration of being diagnosed on a Friday night was having to wait through the weekend to schedule appointments and talk to doctors.

3. How do you see yourself now after three “cancerversaries?” How has fighting breast cancer changed you?

I know it sounds very cliché, but I’m thankful every day for my life. I try not to take things for granted and enjoy the little moments that are real life. I’m happier with my life than I imagined possible while I was going through treatment. Cancer caused me to step back and figure out what was really important to me. I’ve switched jobs, moved out of the city and bought a house in a smaller town closer to my family, and generally tried to focus more on the things in life that make me happy and less on the stress.

4. What were the biggest decisions and changes you had to make when fighting breast cancer?

The biggest decisions I had to make were about the kinds of treatment I would undergo. I knew that I wanted to do everything in my power to increase my chances of survival, so that if the cancer came back, I wouldn’t be beating myself up with the “If onlys.” I originally chose to have a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy. I decided about a year out from treatment that I wasn’t comfortable with that decision because the risk was still too great, so I decided to have a double mastectomy. It was a hard decision, but the best decision I’ve ever made and I haven’t regretted it once.

I also underwent chemotherapy, radiation and I’m about halfway through five years of hormonal therapy. I take the hormonal therapy, tamoxifen, every night, and every night I have to make myself take it. It causes a number of side effects for me, but it always come down to the “if onlys.” If the cancer comes back, how would I feel knowing it might have been prevented, if only I hadn’t stopped taking that medicine?

5. Please tell us about a few things that helped you put up a strong fight against breast cancer.

I have a pretty Type A personality, so once I decide I’m going to do something, that’s where my focus is. But the one thing that got me through treatment, and still gets me through the day, is my nephew. My sister was pregnant when I was diagnosed, so the arrival of the baby gave me something positive to focus on outside of cancer. A picture was taken of the two of us shortly after he was born while I was still in treatment and bald. It terrified me that I might die before he ever knew me and that this picture of us would be the only proof he had that I was there. He’s my inspiration to fight cancer every day; because I know he’s going to be a precocious kindergartener, a heck of a basketball player and have girls lining up for him, and I want to be there to see it all. The fact that he has a little sister on the way just sweetens the deal. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to have my own kids so they have some cousins to play with.

6. What are the best resources or places to look for help for those who are fighting breast cancer, or for those who want to support a loved with breast cancer?

For me, the best resources were the women that had been down the road before me. Since the average breast cancer patient is about 64, I had a hard time finding research and resources geared toward younger women. The Young Survival Coalition was my biggest source of support. Through their message boards, I was able to connect with women going through similar events in their life and battling cancer. I also read a number of blogs that women diagnosed before me had started. I found a lot of helpful information on the Internet, but it is important to be able to separate the valid information from the junk.

For loved ones supporting someone with breast cancer, I think the best piece of advice I can give is to be there for the whole journey. Cancer is a roller-coaster ride and as the excitement (for lack of a better word) of diagnosis wears off, support often fades away. Take your cues from the survivor; they will let you know when they want to talk about cancer. It’s okay to ask, but don’t push the subject. Remember that you had things to talk about before cancer. Think about what you might need in their shoes. And don’t ask what you can do; just do it. If your loved on is anything like me, they’ll never ask for help. But if you show up to scrub my toilet the night before chemo, I’m not going to turn you down!

7. What can people do to increase breast cancer awareness among the women in their lives?

I think many people take breast cancer awareness for granted because they see the pink ribbon so many places, yet so many women do not get regular checkups or mammograms. Encourage the women in your lives to do regular breast self exams. Understand what your personal risks are for breast cancer and talk about them with your doctor. Talk with your doctor about mammograms and at what age you should start having them. Know what is normal for your body and if something is off, talk to your doctor. I discovered a lump in my breast in the shower eleven years before I would have had my first “baseline” mammogram.

I participate annually with my family and friends in the Susan Komen Global Race for the Cure. This provides me with an annual opportunity to remind people of my story and encourage them to perform self exams and get a mammogram. It’s also a very moving experience that serves as a reminder of the triumphs of those who have survived the disease and the loss of those that have not.